[baby baby baby]
im good with youth. not in a weird waht-thefuck-pedophilic way, but in like a “oh hes good with kids” way. maybe cause i’m still a kid at heart and stuff whatever. but that is the youth. babies are a different story. i am deathly afraid of them and i can tell they smell my fear too. i know how i should act, but i dont do the baby talk. i don’t do the “AW HEWWO MISTR BABY RNT YOU JUST THE CUTEST THING EVER?” naw larry don’t play dat. i talk to babies like i talk to adults. “hello. how are you today?” exactly like that. and if they don’t answer, FUCK YOU BABY I DONT LIKE YOU EITHER. just kidding. i wonder if people notice it tho. dont even THINK about asking me to hold it. i honestly rather shatter a window, put the pieces in the palm of my hand and clench a tight fist. violent and graphic? thas how serious i am and its for the greater good of your baby. i am known to break things. wally says “i break everything i touch.” somtimes im around something and it just happens to break. and everybody just looks at me and im like “uhh..i swear i didn’t do anything.” and i dont want to be the one to break the baby and thas the truth.
yesterday, an old coworker of mine, came in with her 1 year old baby. she used to be pretty cute. i jumped back, with two thoughts
1) omg this girl aged like crazy! she looks like she hasnt slept in months!
2) why am i racting as if she brought in a bomb
she stepped into my office, holding her baby.
suzanne: hello larry! how are you?
me: good! how are you?
suzanne: good good. hows the new boss?
me: a little rough but not too bad. you comin to office bbq next week?
suzanne: yep!
me: cool!
and i literally faced back to my computer. completely ignored the fact that she was holding her baby.
beardy: hey suzanne and look what we have here!
suzanne: hey beardy. (looks at the baby) can you say hi? can you say hi?
beardy starts the baby talk.
the more i think about it, it was such a dick move. i acted like her baby and i had some kind of bad blood/history. as if the baby was a capulet and i was from the house of montague (a literary reference? hell yeah i did. didnt expect that did you?) like i didn’t even make eye contact with it. now i feel bad as shiet. shoulda at least asked “oh is that your baby” or somethin.
so to my friends. if you ever get knocked up, and give birth, dont expect me to interact with your infant child. nothing against you, just a fear of mine. here are my feelings to the youth by their age.
0 – 1 years – scared of em.
2-10 – cool and ill play with em.
11 -12 – okay can you please shut the fuck up
13-14 – i hate them the most
14-18 – i dislike em, but some listen to you.
later too
[it went everywhere]
blogging has been kinda scarce i know. reason why? new manager. he’s more strict on people doing personal shit. like what the fuck man. he expects me to actually work? so demanding. how inconsiderate.
last night i had a church meeting, and we were trying out some games. we needed two cups of water.
me: scoobs get me two solo cups full of water.
scoobs: okay
i saw scoob fill it up at the water fountain and i had an awesome idea.
me: TO THE RIM. LIKE FULL.
scoobs: okay okay i got it
so i stood behind the wall, waiting for him to come. he was walking very slowly, very steadily, focusing hard on the cups. i saw his shadow approach…and then
me: BOOGAWOOGAWOOGA
scoobs: AAAAH WHATT THE FUCK
he threw the cups in the air and it got EVERYWHERE. LOLOL. he was soaked. it was very funny. he was annoyed cause i made him clean it up after, but it was funny. thas what you get for smelling like weed at a church meeting.
now that i think about it, i shouldve recorded it 
last week i went to rob’s brothers graduation. it was at the patriot center, and they sell dippin dots. i was thinkin, man. i would love some dippin dots right now. and voila! (is that how you spell it?) there it was. so i’m walkin, and BAM. walked into a little girl. who was holding dippin dots. dots, EVERYWHERE. she had the WHAT THE FUCK look, and then looked like was about to cry. so of course i bought her a new one and her dad said thanks. that was my fuckin dippin dots money!
its okay, cause scoobs says ITS OKAY.
later too
[no drinking? yes problem]
quick recap about this weekend.
so as many of you may know, me and my group of hoodlums are helping out at a church camp in 2 weeks. but prior to that, we had to attend a “don’t touch little kids” seminar at our church. and that shit started promptly at 9 am. WHICH MEANT! no getting drunk on friday. which meant….what in the hell were we supposed to do? the last time my friends and i stayed sober on a friday was…probably…..i dont even remember. how sad is that? we were eating dinner, and took our sweet ass time since we werent in a rush to pregame and go drink. we sat around, threw water balloons, but still had no idea what to do. so we played a crucial game of monopoly. it was fun, but we kept looking at the time. we didn’t want to waste a friday night and sleep early but at the same time we didnt know what to do. so we just constantly looked at the time and kept thinking “can we go to sleep now?” as if someone was forcing us to play with each other. how sad is that? and as GROSS as this may sound, it was probably the first friday in a LONG time, like maybe even close to 8 months that i brushed my teeth on a friday night before going to bed. GROSS right? but think about it. YOU do it too. unless its just the people that hang out in our apartment. then thats just embarassing.
dont touch kids seminar.
it was a 3-4 class on not to touch kids. pretty straight forward. just 3-4 hrs of them repeatedly saying “dont touch kids, don’t hit kids.” just don’t be a fuckin creep. but people were still asking questions. like…uh…are you serious?? and does this really relate to korean culture? cause i know about, hmm.. a FUCKIN BILLION korean ahjushi’s who would disagree with stuff in this seminar. not that their creepy, just culture is different. you know it. my friends and i sat in the back. it was kinda funny how uva kids at our church that attended the meeting were actually part of discussion while the mason, vcu, jmu, nova people in the back were just fuckin around. we had a tweetfest. me and scoobs played the iconic “penis” game in the middle of class. my oh my what is the penis game you ask? a classic game from the early 90′s.
safe to say scoob won. the white guy in front of us did not find it amusing. not one bit.
we were all passing notes around. drew pictures. made fortune tellers. anything to kill time. basically felt like we were in high school again, and we had a substitute teacher. and i realized something. thank God, that my friends and i didn’t have classes together. cause i would have never graduated college.
later too
[june 22 2011]
there are a series of events that happened on this that led me to a high level of annoyance.
after work my dad called and asked me to come over for dinner. i said sure dude. i came home to find a nice dinner prepared from my grumma. i was starvin like marvin and ready to destroy it. that is, until..
pop: hey this is (korean name. for the sake of this story, lets call him fobbers)
me(in broken korean): uh…..hi
fobbers (in korean): hello
pop: he’s a director in korea. he’s visiting.
me (in broken korean): oh. okay cool
what do i hate the most? being hungry, having access delicious food, but you are in an awkward situation. i rather have crackers and a fun situation. but to make it more awkward? my dad got a business call, so he left the table. so it was just me and mr fobbers. see it wouldn’t be that awkward if i knew how to speak, cause i barely speak korean. shit i barely get by with english. and now my dad wants me to have dinner with this guy? and what do we have as background noise? there is a tv. korean tv. on plants. not even loud obnoxious korean news to drown out the silence. gawd it was so uncomfortable. i was thinking “WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO THIS GUY!!!”
things i could talk to him about:
-who the hell are you?
-why are you here?
-how do you know my dad?
-can i be an actor in one of your things? and is there a kissing scene?
but all of those questions involve complicated korean vocabulary that i do not know. so instead of all those, i asked
“do you want some water”
so to alleviate this scenario, i pulled out my trusty handy smartphone. my dad from the other side of the house gave me the “NO PHONES AT THE DINNER TABLE.” he hates that. he’s not even at dinner! so there i am again, just eating. this food tastes like nothing to me cause all i’m thinking about is how weird this is.
my grumma brings out two plates of watermelon. this is my fave part. i love watermelon. and i ONLY eat the ripe juicy parts. if the watermelon has a hint of pink or white, nope. NOT EATING it. but of course she gives me the crappy parts, and he gets ALL the red ones. THOSE ARE MIIINE!! a bit childish i know, but i was looking forward to it. so anyways, i came out of the house around 7 or 8 and i yell to my poppy “ayo smell you later”
i stop by cvs. why? i’m in line waiting for ever. theres only one cashier. but theres only one lady in front of me. her total is $8.85. what does this FUCKIN BITCH DO? PULL OUT A FUCKING BAG OF PENNIES. LIKE YOU HAVE GOT. TO BE. FUCKIN. KIDDING ME. think about it like this. if it took one second to count each penny, which it almost did, that would require 14 minutes. DUMB. BITCH.
finally they call another cashier to come cause theres a pretty long line behind of me now.
it was an annoying day overall.
later too
[it was all a dream]
today is picture day at my office. there was an email sent out to dress appropriately. i think it was mainly to people on my floor. assholes. they want me to dress up? ill show them.
handsome and i agreed that i should wear a tux, and comb my hair to the side and gel it, holding a dictionary and a pipe. but a las, i did not. i should have tho. anyways, i came in this morning.
i walked into the office and did my usual greetings. it usually goes
me: hey blahblah
blahblah: hey larry how ya doin
me: good u?
blahblah: good.
me: good.
the end. no one gives a shit or pays attention. just common courtesy. i bet it could even possible go like this
me: hey blahblah
blahblah: hey larry how ya doin
me: oh i ate a baby, kicked a puppy, and then farted in your coffee cup. u?
blahblah: good
me: good
and no one would notice, cause nobody gives a DAMN.
inception is on hbo now. i’ve watched it 3 times now. i watched the first time in the theaters. i remember my friends saying you have to pay attention. i didnt want to be that guy again who asks a lot of questions during the movie so i focused hardcore. i’ve never gave a movie that much attention in my life. i watched it, enjoyed it, understood it, and that was that. but now the more i watch it, the more confusing that movie becomes. it sucks cause i’ve been waiting for that movie to come on HBO and now i can’t even watch it. that movie goes in the vault along with “set it off” and “tyler perry’s why did i get married” and “why did i get married too”.
speaking of dreams
i had a dream i was in a dog sled race. everybody had about 8 huskies attached to their sleds. me? i had my golden retriever. and i was KICKING ASS. it was a true cinderella story. but why the FUCK was i dreaming about that? its not like i just watched iron will or 8 below or anything. i watched the A-TEAM. the most non opposite- dog sledding movie you can watch.
i know what you’re thinking. he just basically turned our conversation into a blog entry.
later too
[lots of random ish]
friday donny from richmond came up. the last time he got drunk was when he visited last year. that means that i’ve gotten drunk….how many more times than him? lets do the math here.
52 weekends in a year.
lets say i’ve gotten drunk at least twice every weekend. sometimes only once, but some weeks i go for the thrice.
thanksgiving week – i went for the 6 dayer.
christmas – nye was like a 4 dayer
add in a couple holidays, days off i took. occasions where i drink. 5
i’ve gotten drunk at least 119 times compared to donny’s 2. lets also think about it like this: i get drunk, while johnhur blacks out. like literally he doesn’t remember. that means there are 119 nights in 365 that he doesn’t remember. that means out of this past year, he is only conscious 67% of the nights. now that number may not be that great to some of you, but we’re fresh 27-28 years old. i think we need a lifestyle change no? now lets all say our infamous motto together.
unjae ggahji eeruhggae sahl gguhyah?
which leads to
saturday i went to k street and got to the bar before it got ridiculously freakin packed. i got the bartender’s attention and she gave me the “i’ll get you next” look. she was one of the good ones. i was like cool okay. so i’m waiting, and this guy gets right in front of me. not a big deal, i do it all the time. but what he did next was just douchey. he took out a $20 and flashed it at the bartender. lol. i just thought in my head “oooooooo baller status.” from the look of this guy, you knew that he wasn’t going to just give her 20 for getting his order. he was going to pay with the 20. going to order 2 drinks, and give her a $2 tip. you could just tell. you gotta flash harder dude. its like waving a broccoli at me to get my attention. or a carrot at tommy. or waving a pair of clippers at bobby. or waving responsibility in front of wally. OH!(nj style) keep goin? okay. like waving forms for an AA class in front of jiae. or a strawberry at robin. ok im done.
Tweet of the Night
@robinbigg Larry just yelled PENIS at my brother’s graduation @glassictimes
true story. i played THAT game. like i fuckin yelled it in the patriot center. safe to say i won. call me immature, but winning is winning.
“doesn’t matter whether you win by inch or a mile. winning’s winning.” – domoninc turetto
which leads to another famous quote in cinema history
“lets go. menage!” “
no. monica.” – ja rule
later too
[wtf]
random thoughts.
julia and steve are in korea. julia stayed in for a night to rest.
Julia: ttyl larry!
have fun tonigth
me: you have fun too!!
miss oyu!
Julia:MISS YOU BUNCHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
wat a cutie.
—————————-
judging by my facebook, another girl got engaged. congrats to you. i think about how totally different my life is from hers today.
her highlight of the day- she got engaged.
my highlight of the day- i got avocado on my sandwich.
have a great weekend yall
-manee
[the beach 2011]
first of the hopefully many beach trips this past weekend. we did what we normally do. roll up to the beach around 12, and abuse our bodies with all sorts of unhealthy shit. drink, go to the beach, play, go to the pool, play some more at the pool, drink some more, and watch the sunrise. sleep about 3-4 hours, and then repeat that twice. some of the many highlights?
-330ish am eerrbody jumped into the pool. anna was on the luggage cart. fully street clothed. tommy was drunk as shit. wally and tommy were rolling her around. tommy jus said fuck it. and shoved that shit right into the pool, along with anna. it actually couldve been pretty bad. coulda hit her head, the whole thing coulda fell on her. but the risk was definitely worth it.
-when we went to the beach the first night, it was at about 3am. it was foggy as shit. out of the fog, was a random white girl. with two other figures far behind from her. she approached me.
girl: excuse me.
me: hi.
girl: where is a great spot to have sex?
me: uhhhhhh…..hold on a sec let me get you my friend.
girl: umm okay
me: HEY WALLY THIS GIRL WANTS TO HAVE THES EX
girl: wait. what?
me: WALLY THIS GIRL WANTS TO HAVE THE SEX
girl: umm okay bye guys
- last year johnhur passed out early, tommy and wally got drunk. they took his iphone. took a picture of tommys bare nutsack on johnhur’s neck. and posted it on facebook. they blacked out, had no idea what t hey did until johnhur flipped out the next morning. a week or 2 later, wally suddenly remembered. he couldn’t reach johnhurs neck with his nutsack, so he slapped him with his penis. LOL. this year johnhur said “IMA FUCKIN GET THOSE BITCHES BACK. I”VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS.” but on the 2nd night, johnhur passed out early again. wally put his nutsack on him again. and i jumped on him. nekkid. and we took pictures.
-we got out of control again on the second night. you can tell by this clip we were drunk as hell.
wait for the 0:17 mark.
we were outside, and saw a cop car roll up into our condo building.
me: you think….that cops coming to us?
wally, johnhur: no way man.
i hear a loud knock at the door.
me: FUCK
i ran inside, ran to the door. no one was there. phew. close call, about to go back outside on the balcony till..
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
me: FUCCCCKK
i open the door, 2 cops. one guy one lady.
guy cop (leaned to the right, looked in): can we come in?
i thought about all the shit i learned from cop shows. they can’t just come in here without warrants and suspicion. i turned around to see beer cans, liqour bottles, beer pong tables. turned to them.
me: umm….nah.
guy cop: well we’ve got a tip and complaint that there were underage kids drinking and partying.
me: huh?
girl cop: how old are you?
me: ….28.
the cops had a confused as look. they looked at each other, and just stared at me, and had the “sure you are” face.
girl cop: …um yeah we’re gonna need see your id.
i grab my wallet, show it to them. the girl cop kinda chuckles
girl cop: haha wow you weren’t kidding.
me: yeap.
guy cop: uhh so i guess we can’t really do anything.
me: yeah we’ll try to keep it down.
cops: okay cool have a nice night.
so…the thoughts on this situation
- 9 years ago we got the cops called on us cause of johnkang. korea just beat italy in the world cup, and we got drunk as shiet. cops banged on the door, and i opened. we were underage as fuck but they didnt even card me. 9 years later, and now they ask me?
- if our neighbors called the cops thinking underage kids were partying, we must be immature as fuck.
i need a breathalyzer on my phone. i need an app that wont let me post shit on fb and twitter when im fucked up.
k i love you bye
[hungover/drunk caught on tape]
so my church youth group kids prepared a video for the seniors. just some pictures and people saying good luck and stuff.
they recorded one sunday morning. however, that sunday morning, i was still pretty drunk, and HUNGOVER AS HELL. it was one of those rough mornings after k street where we went on to drink til 5am or somethin.
and this was my message to them.
skip to 7:53 mark. i dont know why it wont let me manually.
i remember after i walked away, chubs, my #1 girl, was like uh…..was that it?
[a/c]
think of the top inventions of all time. off the top of my head…
-a/c
-heat
-light bulb
-tv
-phone
-internet
-computer
-contraception
-barbeque sauce
-distributable music
-automobile
-glasses
-filtrated water
-ice cream
but when it all comes down to it, what ISSS the best invention? A/C. HANDS down.
a/c vs lightbulb – would you rather sit in a well lit area, hot and miserable as shit? or sit in a dark room, feeling nice and cozy. maybe even take a nap?
a/c vs tv – imagine watching the best show ever. IN THE MOST DISGUSTING HUMID WEATHER EVER. try that, sitting on a leather couch.
now heat is not comparable. when its cold, you can put layers on. you can do active stuff to keep yourself warm. but when its hot and you dont have a/c? you can get all naked, but some might find that offensive. and plus you’re still hot.
little do you know, air condition is the reason why people are 70% less annoyed of other people. imagine how stressed out you would be with your friends if the a/c didn’t work? everything in the world would be annoying. air condition is what prevents some of my friends from killing each other. air condtion, saves lives.
so if we could all raise our glasses, to the unsung hero. air condition.
[weapon of choice]
Annnnd here we go again yall. Sling shot with a waterballoon? Im in pure summer mode. I jus need to find a friend who is ready to throwdown. This is my first blog from my phone.
[ugly baby to disney moments]
i went into my coworkers office to ask him a question. i saw his desktop wallpaper and i had to restrain myself from laughing. it was a picture of his newborn baby, but the baby was ugly as shit LOL. i mean he has another 2 year old who is really cute. but his newborn…NOPE. 99% he’ll be cute in a couple years, but nope not as a newborn. he looked like something i saw in a movie when i was younger. i couldnt figure it out for the longest time, but then i realized it. he looks like a “polyp.” whats a polyp? remember when ursula imprisons ariel, and king triton comes to take her place as her prisoner, so ursula turns him into that little ugly freaky thing?
thats a polyp. and thas what my coworkers kid looks like. yeah i had to wikipedia it. remember when the king turns ariel into a human? that was a great moment. WHICH LEADS ME TO MY TOP 10 DISNEY MOMENTS
10. jasmine tells aladdin to go to hell, he jumps off her balcony, and shes like WAIT NO and he pops up and is like whatsup and shes like how are you doing that and then he takes her for a ride on the carpet.
9. jafar turns into a genie, aladdin runs, jumps on a diamond, slides across the room, smashes the hour glass and saves a sluttified jasmine.
8.
Pumba: its our motto!
Simba: whats a motto?
Timon: NOTHIN. WHATS A MOTTO WITH YOU?
Timon Pumba: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
LOLOLOL this should actually be my number 1 moment.
7. bernard finally gets to propose to miss bianca in the rescuers down under
6. mulan shooting the canon into the mountains and mooshoo the dragon is like “YOU MISSED! I CANT BELIEVE YOU MISSED!” i dunno i just thought that part was funny as shit.
5. hercules goes back to earth for meg
4. beast eating soup in front of belle like an animal and shes like what the fuck and hes like oh yeah i forgot and picks up his spoon. i can relate.
3. king triton letting his daughter turn into a human so she can marry her beau
2. simba doing that roar on his pride rock even though his territory looks like a p.o.s
1. aladdin wishing the genie free
k i love you bye
[evil money]
yesterday i went to giant. as i left, i heard a flap. there was a $50 at my feet. there was a guy in front of me walking to his car, and im 90% sure it was him. now i’m not rich, but im not broke either. my mum always taught me the value of returning other peoples property. (o.p.p?) i picked it up, and stood there. stared at that cash for about 20 seconds. an angel and devil appeared on my shoulders. it was a very
moment
good larry – give it back to him. its not yours and you don’t need it.
bad larry – but what if it isn’t his? and what if this guy deserved to lose the $50?
good larry – but what if he needs it to buy his family dinner?
bad larry - you owe about $40 somethin to that bobby guy? and isn’t that enough money to fill up a gas tank?
good larry – imagine how guilty you feel now, and multiply that by 10000. what would Jesus do?
bad larry: what would wally do?
good larry – you could totally give that money back and you would make his day and he would pay it forward. and you would feel good too.
bad larry – buy a couple homeless guys some hotdogs and itll be straight.
good larry – what are you fuckin robin hood? give it back! and remember your rule (when i used to work at my moms cleaners, i checked pockets for pens and things that could ruin the clothing during the cleaning process. my rule was if it was less than $20, buy you and your aunt lunch and ice cream. if its more, give it back)!
me: i think im gonna give it back.
i looked up, and the guy was gone. i looked around the parking lot and i couldn’t even find the guy. after 5 minutes of searching i gave up. got in my car and i could feel the $50 just eating away at my soul. note to self: next time, don’t hesitate and just give it BACK.
for a brief moment i coulda been superman. but i decided to be lex luthor instead. martha kent and my mum woulda been dissapointed.
k i love you bye
[friday edz]
beardy is out of the office today, so i have the office to myself. i still have my headphones on though.
coworker: why dont you just play music on speakers since beardy aint here?
me: eh. the headphone jack on my computer is difficult, so i rather just not deal with it
coworker: oh okay. don’t you get bored when beardy isn’t here?
me: umm a little. puts some spunk in my day.
the conversation really shoulda gone like this.
coworker: why dont you just play music on speakers since beardy aint here?
me: i’m listening to britney spears, justin beiber, BIG BANG – a tweenage korean pop group, and n sync. and i’m embarassed as fuck. and i’m pretty sure everybody here would think that i’m gay.
coworker: oh okay. don’t you get bored when beardy isn’t here?
me:
happy friday yall
k i love you bye
[work story and the video]
best prank ever: revisited. here are the highlights of the best prank we pulled. the full version is pretty long, but thats on youtube too.
notable moments
0:40 – Chang sik hyung. goin crazy
0:55 – a very old school clip of em yg boys, julia, juliana, and jiae
3:04 – DAVID LEE’S SHOES. LOL. when he was in high school, he annoyed the shit out of us.
3:33 – rare clip of young-contacts larry, steve and donnie
5:53 – cheers. walk in for the prank
6:24 – all hell breaks loose
8:50 – the terror.
the other day at work i longboarded to the convenience store to get me some juice. i like juice in the morning. so i’m going, minding my business and waiting on the side of the road for the cars to pass along. from a far i see a decked out, and i mean 1999 souped-up-fast-and-furious-legit honda civic turning into the road. they slow down as they pass by me. if i was in south central L.A i woulda jumped to the conclusion that this was gonna be a drive by. but nope it wasn’t. BUT, a big ass bald hispanic dude who looked like he was 40 years old with shades stuck his head out the window, threw up some hand signs, and yelled “BLAHABLAHBLAH PUNTO WATCHU GOT ESSE” and just drove off. i didn’t know if i was supposed to be mad or amused. either way i was just confused as shit. did i accidentally wear some gang colors to work? i didn’t know the latin kings resided off of route 28.
after THAT, later on in the day im sitting at my desk doin some work. im focused man. beardy walks in.
beardy: hey larry
me (still focused on my computer): wahtsup
beardy: hey look at this
me: hold on gimmie a sec
beardy: are you sure? cause you might want to see this
me: huh?
beardy: look what i found in the parking lot
me: wha-WHAT THE FUCK
i jumped back, almost onto my desk. WHY?
CAUSE THE DUDE WAS HOLDING A FUCKIN SNAKE!!!
me: DUDE WHAT THE HELL MAN
beardy: isn’t it cool?
me: YOU CANT JUST HAVE A SNAKE WRAPPED AROUND YOUR ARM AND WALK INTO THE OFFICE AND EXPECT THAT ITS AN EVERYDAY THING
beardy: but i found it in the parking lot!
UGH. I HATE SNAKES.
k i love you bye
[our best prank ever]
last night i was looking through some old church stuff on my hard drive. i was thinkin “i really wish i could see that prank video again.” and bam. i see a folder called “2003 shock and awe.” in the next few days i will be posting that video on youtube which is glassicly proclaimed “best church camp prank ever.” too bad the digital technology wasn’t that great in 2003, but we worked with what we had. night vision included. i’ll supply you with the details.
prep work
a week before camp starts, wally steve and i go to target and buy their stock of saran wrap. with our own money of course. counselors go buy a shit ton, and i mean a shit ton of multi-purpose flour. we also have a ridiculous stock of duct tape, wire, string, whatever the fuck we can find.
prank night: 130 high school kids, 30 counselors.
on the last night, when the kids are the most exhausted and all they want to do is sleep, we stay up. we stay up on pure adrenaline. we can’t sleep cause we know whats goin to happen. kids sleep about 15 or so into one cabin.
3:15 AM – 30 deranged counselors put on camouflage face paint.
3:30 AM – we go into their cabins, steal all their bags.
3:45 AM – we create a gigantic pyramid of crap. saran wrap, duct tape, wire, string all their bags together. it is architecturally sound.
4:30 AM - everybody meets in the kitchen. you grab one large cup of water, one large cup of flour.
4:40 AM – counselors march down into the cabin area, and split up into groups, accompanied by one man with a walkie talkie.
4:45 AM – Cheers.
4:46 AM – you creep into the cabin like a ninja. you find the little shit thats been annoying the fuck out of you from the weekend. you stand above them while they’re sleeping. everybody is dead silent. that kid is up for a rude awakening.
4:48 AM – the walkie talkie says “GO!” SPLASH them with water first to wake em up. IMMEDIATELY followed by a cup of flour, which later creates a glue like mixture. i think my words were “WAKE UP MOTHERFUCKER”. and you haul ass. everybody runs to the parking lot to celebrate.
4:50 AM – we’re celebrating, laughing. and we stop. cause all you hear, is screaming cursing and crying.
4:51 AM – terror ensues. and i mean like oh. my. GAHD. kids are trying to fight counselors, girls are crying, steve’s little brother swears he’s having an asthma attack but his inhaler is in the bag, which is in the tower of crap, but turns out he was just over exaggerating and being a little bitch etc.
5:30 AM – kids settle down, finally tear a whole through the pyramid, get their bag, wash up and go back to sleep.
Sunday, 830 AM – kids were NOT happy. but a couple hours later, they start laughing about it.
a week later, we all meet up to watch the video, including our priest. he shakes his head in disappointment, but laughs at the same time.
and that was our best prank ever.
k i love you bye
